Inspire yourself

There are many people who try meditation once and then dismiss it because they feel it doesn’t suit them. But meditating is not a one size fits all practice. Also, it can seem like a very abstract concept when you’ve just started to dip your toes in the mindfulness waters. We’d recommend to explore different meditation techniques, so you can see what you like and what you don’t like. And just see what works best for you. Meditation techniques for beginners #1. Focusing your attention.  With this form of meditation, you simply choose one thing that you’re going to focus on. Most people focus on their breath and use this as their anchor. This way, you have something you can return to when you notice your thoughts start to wander. You are free to focus your attention on something other than your breath, of course.  #2. Observing.  This meditation technique takes the first one a step further. When you’re focusing on your breath, for example, and you notice your thoughts start to wander, instead of returning your focus to your breath you will ‘note’ what it is that is distracting you. This can help you to learn more about your mental tendencies and the things that may be (subconsciously) bothering you. #3. Body scanning.  This is a great meditation technique to use before going to sleep, but feel free to use it any time you feel like it. A good way to get started is by first doing an isolated body scan – of just your right hand. Once you’ve got the hang of that, go ahead and try a full body scan, starting at the top of your head and work your way down to the tips of your toes. Try imagining that there is a photocopier light moving very slowly over your body, creating awareness of every sensation. #4. Visualizing.  This is one of the meditation techniques for beginners that works very well for those with a vivid imagination. Start the same way as you would when you’re focusing on your breath – and then replace the breath with a mental image as the object of your attention. Make sure you’re very specific when conjuring these images; try to see every single detail in your mind’s eye and stay aware of any physical sensations. #5. Reflecting.  For this technique, you start by simply asking yourself a question. For example: “What experience in your life are you most grateful for?” or “What do you need to feel more at ease today?” By asking yourself something in the second person, you’re preventing the intellectual side of your brain from giving rational answers. This enables you to focus more on the feelings that arise instead of on the thoughts.

There are many ways to meditate – the challenge is to figure out what works for you. Maybe you’re the type of person that benefits from guided meditation, breathing exercises or simply taking a mindful walk. In this blogpost, I would like to introduce you to the concept of intermittent silence. I’ll explain what its benefits are and how to practise it – you might discover that this is the perfect way to meditate for you. What is intermittent silence? Intermittent silence, also referred to as ‘intentional silence’, means taking a break to disconnect from the noises and other distractions of everyday life and spend a while in silence. You can compare it to intermittent fasting, where one takes a short break from eating, or a resting day for an athlete that works out every other day of the week. It means pressing your own ‘mute’ button – as well as muting your environment. What are the benefits of intermittent silence? First of all, intermittent silence is an excellent way to unplug. It also reduces the pressure that many people nowadays feel when it comes to interaction with others; both face-to-face, over the phone or through email or social media. It can help to distinguish between when we feel the obligation to communicate, and when we actually want to. In the same way that intermittent fasting makes us more conscious of what and how much food we put inside our bodies, intermittent silence can make us more mindful of what we say to others and why we communicate the way we do. You may, for example, start to realize that you sometimes speak because you feel the need to prove something to others. Or maybe some of your conversations with others are triggered by anxiety; a fear of uncomfortable silences. Intermittent silence can make you more aware of why you choose to speak. There is also scientific evidence showing the benefits of pressing ‘mute’ for a while. Both the part of our brain responsible for listening (Wernicke’s area) and the part that is responsible for speech and communication (Broca’s area) get a well-deserved break when you’re practising intermittent silence. While empirical research on intermittent silence is still somewhat scarce, there are studies showing that periods of silence stimulate the growth of new brain cells in the hippocampus, i.e. the area of the brain that is associated with memory, learning new skills and regulating emotions. How do I practice intermittent silence? If you want to give intermittent silence a try, you can simply go ahead and find a quiet space where you can be in silence for a few minutes – or a few hours, whatever you prefer. However, when you’re very used to being surrounded by noises and/or people, which is often the case when you’re living with other people, you may find you need some guidance in the beginning. In that case, you can try using a meditation timer such as Insight Timer or an app like Relaxx. What works really well for me, is simply getting up really early. I often wake up between four and five in the morning. That may seem way too early for most, but that’s exactly why it works so well. At this hour, most people (in the house as well as in your neighbourhood) are still fast asleep. You may even find the birds are not awake yet. I like to feed my cats, put moisturizer on my face, make myself a cup of coffee and walk outside. The lack of noise and presence of others gives me the opportunity to truly connect to myself and wake up at my own pace. After a while of basking in the quietness, I will open up my laptop and do some work (with all notifications on mute, of course). Often times, I manage to do half a day’s worth of work in a single hour – simply because there is nothing to distract me. And once the rest of the world starts to wake up, I am ready for it.

Consistently practising mindfulness can have a huge impact on your thoughts, feelings and behaviour – because it can literally change your brain. But how does that work from a scientific point of view? This is what mindfulness does to your brain… What mindfulness does to your brain The principle of neurogenesis, which tells us that even the adult brain is capable of creating new neurons, was only discovered a couple of decades ago. Neurogenesis is closely linked to neuroplasticity; the brain’s capacity to continuously adapt and rearrange neural connections based on experiences. The plasticity or malleability of our brain enables us to learn new skills, bring an end to bad habits, adapt to new circumstances and environments, and even recover from serious trauma and damage. Each new experience or challenge, from learning a new language to finding your way in a recently renovated supermarket, works as a catalyst and stimulates your brain to restructure synaptic connections. If you do something very often, the connections needed to do it become stronger. Repetition is how we turn behaviour into a second nature. Take riding a bike, for example. In the beginning, when you were young, this was an exciting challenge. Now it’s a habit you’re probably not even thinking about. While your brain is automatically creating new neural pathways, it is possible to gain a certain control over this process – using mindfulness. But how does that work, exactly? Cortical thinning When a neurologist evaluates a brain scan, he will also look at cortical thinning. You can see the brain as a stack of sheets, built up from cells, which all have been crumpled up very tightly. With young, healthy individuals, certain parts will look thicker – this is where the tissue is well-developed and healthy. As we get older and experience stress, the cortex will gradually become weaker and thinner. This degradation of the cortex explains why it is more difficult to learn new skills at a later age, and why elderly people often tend to become forgetful or absentminded. But the cortical thinning that comes with getting older, can be significantly slowed down with mindfulness training. Researchers found that the brains of people who are long-term mindfulness practitioners, do not show the typical decline at a later age; their brains look much healthier and younger. Strengthening of cognitive functions Just like weight training is used to make specific muscles stronger, it is also possible to train specific neural connections associated with important cognitive functions, such as attention, memory and logic. One of the primary brain functions that benefit from mindfulness is our ability to focus. You can strengthen this crucial cognitive network through a standard breathing exercise; simply sitting quietly and focus on your breath for a few minutes. You don’t have to analyse or force anything. All you need to be is an objective observer of your own breathing. Any time you notice your thoughts start to wander, gently direct them back to your breath. Every time you do notice and correct your thoughts, can be compared to a mental push-up. The more mental push-ups you do, the stronger your ability to control and maintain your attention will become. Not just during a breathing exercise or mindfulness session, but throughout the entire day. Final thoughts There are a lot of misconceptions about mindfulness, but the scientific proof of its benefits is clear. Regular mindfulness exercises are like training your abs. When you have a strong core, other exercises (push-ups, squats, planks) will also become easier. The cognitive network becomes stronger and gets used to being activated. With enough practise, it will eventually become second nature. Just like riding a bike.

It doesn’t matter how dedicated you are when it comes to meditating – sometimes life just gets in the way. You’re rushing all day, and when you finally get to the point where you crawl into bed, you realize you’ve not taken any time for yourself. But even on the days where you “just can’t” there are ways to practise mindfulness. Really, it won’t cost you ANY time – because you’ll be practising during routine tasks that you have to do anyway. 5 routine tasks you can use to practise mindfulness every day #1. Brushing your teeth If there was one daily task where my thoughts would always wander, it was brushing my teeth. I knew I should have been focussing on getting to those hard-to-reach teeth in the back, but I was always somewhere else. After a nasty case of gingivitis and a lecture from my dentist, I changed it. Now, those two minutes of teeth brushing twice a day are my mini-meditations. I sit down on the edge of the bathtub, start brushing and pay attention to everything. The way I hold my toothbrush, the sound of the bristles against my teeth, the flavour of the toothpaste, the feeling of foam on my tongue, the temperature of the water when I rinse my mouth. It’s made me much more aware of what I’m doing – and last time I went to the dentist I even got a compliment about how much better everything looked. #2. Walking It doesn’t matter whether you’re on your way to the train station, walking your dog, or taking an evening stroll – walking is not only very good for your health, but also an excellent opportunity to practise mindfulness. Try walking more slowly than you normally would and bring your awareness in every step. Check out these 7 steps towards a mindful walk. #3. Drinking your morning coffee If you’re a multitasker, there’s a big chance you’re always doing other things while you’re drinking your morning coffee (or tea). Think reading the newspaper, checking your emails, or preparing your lunch. But wouldn’t it be nice to be more mindful in the morning? What if you could just sit there and start your day with intention? Try to eliminate as many distractions as possible and turn your attention to your senses. The warmth of the mug in your hands, smell and taste of your coffee, how it feels when you swallow the liquid. If your mornings feel too rushed, try getting up a little earlier so you can actually enjoy your morning cup of joe. #4. Eating your dinner People often comment on how slow I eat. But eating slowly and mindfully is what makes eating such a pleasurable experience for me. It is also one of the main reasons why I can eat whatever I want without gaining any weight – eating slowly gives my body the time to tell my brain when it’s full. This is in sharp contrast to how many people in Western society tend to eat their meals: too fast, too much, too distracted, without really looking at their food or thinking about what they put inside their bodies. For your next dinner, try turning of the tv for once. Sit comfortably and ‘eat with your eyes’. Look at your food. Smell it. Observe its texture. And take your time. Chew properly before you swallow. It may take some time to get used to it, but your body will thank you for it. Trust me. #5. Showering I remember a friend who used to be in the army telling me how they were taught to take 2-minute showers. Sure, it’s an excellent way to save water, which I’m all for. But for me, showering is so much more than just washing my hair and body. As someone who is very easily distracted, taking a shower feels like my ultimate reset-ritual. It is my daily moment where I am truly alone, which gives me the opportunity to rinse off distractions and negative thoughts and be fully present. If I’m in a rush, I’d rather postpone my shower to a later time so I can actually have a mindful experience. Final thoughts So you see, even when you’re too busy to meditate, it is still possible to practise mindfulness on a daily basis. Think about the routines and tasks you do every day, and try to be more aware next time. This is a great step towards a life in the present.

Constant time travelling According to dr. Leaf, the human mind spends between half and three quarters of its waking hours time travelling between the past, the present and the future. I’ve written about this before myself and I have a theory that this time travelling is essential for humans. Because unlike animals, we don’t really have a strong instinct or reflexes that help us survive. Instead, we depend on learning from our past experiences and planning for the future. This, I believe, is our survival mechanism. But dr. Leaf says that many people are also forgetting about context. Because the moment you create a new memory, it is no longer in the present; it immediately exists in the past. It can remain very powerful though: a single memory can affect your entire future, simply by reminding you of what has happened and what can still happen. Living in the now: only part of the process Are you having trouble staying focused on the now when practising mindfulness and meditation? Don’t worry about it. Leaf thinks the ability of the human mind to remain in the present simply has its limits. She says it will just calm you down for a couple of seconds. Before long, your mind starts shifting again, time travelling between the past, present, and future. Is meditating pointless, then? Absolutely not. “The deliberate exercise, trying to stay in the now for a few moments, is a very good practice to develop the mind,” she says, “but it’s not the solution to managing chaos.” The whole ‘living in the now’ thing is merely part of the process as a whole. Embracing the full context All right, so if trying to stay present is only a part of it, what else can we do to silence the loud voices of our minds? Instead of desperately trying to avoid thoughts about the past and the future, Leaf suggests that we should embrace the entire context of it. “You have a narrative, you have a story, you are responding in this moment because of everything else about you,” she says.Your NOW is a reality because it is rooted in all your memories. So instead of ignoring your memories, Leaf thinks we should try to make more sense of them. I’m not telling you to overthink every single thing that’s ever happened to you. Just take some time every now and then to reflect, write and reconceptualise. It may not happen instantly, but eventually this should help you to put your past, present and future in context, and gain a sense of peace. Final thoughts According to dr. Leaf our natural tendency for time travelling means we are literally unable to stay in one place (the present) for too long. However, that doesn’t mean we should stop trying. Meditation and mindfulness are valuable tools to ground us and calm us. But aside from that, we should also respect the fact that our past, as well as our thoughts about what is yet to come, shape our current moment. Embracing the entire context of our past, present and future can help you to manage the chaos in your head – and might even increase your ability to stay in the present a little longer.

#1. Find a place to walk. The first thing you need is a place to walk, obviously. The most important thing is that it is a quiet place where you don’t constantly run into other people. This is pretty much impossible to find outside if you live in the city, so unless you are fortunate enough to live somewhere secluded (like a deserted island), try a room in your house or your apartment building. As long as it is spacious enough to walk at least ten steps in a circle or a straight line, you’re good. Walking indoors has an additional benefit: you can do it barefoot, which apparently increases the effects of the exercise significantly. #2. Don’t stare, just look. Where conventional meditation practices usually require you to close your eyes, we really would not recommend taking a walk with your eyes shut. Not even when you’re just walking circles in a field with nothing to bump into. It’s best to direct your gaze a little bit in front of your feet. Make sure you’re not fixated on anything in particular; just look, softly. #3. Focus on your breath. Similar to what you would do when starting out with conventional meditation, direct your attention to your breath. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Take notice of how your breathing feels. #4. Be aware of your movements. Aside from your breath, also be aware of the sensations you experience with each movement. Feel how your weight shifts when you put one foot in front of the other. How the ground feels beneath your feet. This should be more intense when you’re walking barefoot. #5. Acknowledge any feelings that may arise. While you should be aware of your movements, try to think of them primarily as some sort of reference point; your main focus should be on the feelings that arise while making those movements. #6. Move slower than you normally would. Try moving slower (and with smaller steps) than you would during a regular walk around the block; this helps to deepen your meditative state. #7. When your mind starts to wander, come back to yourself. Your mind will inevitably start to wander. Don’t worry about it. It is completely normal for your thoughts to drift off to the past or the future, especially when you’re new to the whole mindfulness thing. Once you notice your focus is waning, gently bring yourself back to the now and continue the rest of your mindful walk. Final thoughts Once you get the hang of it, you can try and take your mindful walk outside. Maybe you’ll even start to apply the same principles to when you’re walking around the office, the supermarket or the train station. Once you learn to direct your focus and be fully present, any walk can become a mindful walk.

Five misconceptions #1. Mindfulness is a quick-fix for everything Even though mindfulness is much more accessible than people tend to think, it is anything but a magical quick-fix. Many people spend a minute a day on a meditation app or breathing exercise and expect immediate results. Of course, some people might experience some direct effect. But in general, mindfulness should be compared to weight training. If you put someone who has never done any fitness on the weights for an hour, you can’t expect that person to leave the gym all buffed up – that is never going to happen. That person would have a better idea of how weight training works, and maybe even have enough basic knowledge to continue training on his own. The same applies to mindfulness. #2. Mindfulness is a passive experience A lot of sceptics assume that mindfulness is a passive experience that doesn’t require a lot of effort. In reality, it requires time, intention and active participation. Because we get so many stimuli in our lives, it goes against our habits to calm down and live in the moment. But if you work on it, you can definitely change things. #3. Mindfulness is only meant for relaxation Relaxation can, for some, be the desired result of their mindfulness practice. That’s perfectly fine. But not all mindfulness techniques are meant to relax you or help you sleep. In fact, it is also very suitable for situations where you have to be super sharp and focused. For example, you can do a quick scan to evaluate which thoughts are running in the background, and consciously put them aside to focus on the task at hand. #4. Mindfulness has to be practised a certain way There isn’t really a specific or ‘correct’ way to practise mindfulness. It is more of an ‘Create-your-own-adventure’ thing. If you want to go all out with singing bowls, poofs and incense, go ahead. But it is not required. You can do anything mindfully. It is all about awareness. Take doing the dishes, for example. When you’re consciously aware of the temperature of the water, the feeling of the soap and de sponge in your hands, that counts as a mindful experience. #5. You’ll be instantly convinced if you just try it Not everyone will have an epiphany the first time they try it. Maybe you have to try multiple mindfulness techniques and apps before you discover something that’s really your thing. If you read a book and you don’t like it, that doesn’t mean you’re never going to read anything, right? Then you just try another book!

7 tips to stay hopeful in hard times #1. Stop comparing. “Talk about your feelings” is something you hear all the time. A lot of people are afraid to talk about their own pain, because they think it is not as significant compared to the pain of others. But when you ignore your own pain or push it away, sooner or later it will come out in other (very nasty) ways. So grant yourself the same sympathy to give your friend. You deserve compassion, too. Pain is not a competition. #2. Upgrade your thoughts. It is hard to quit overthinking, but it’s possible. Start by identifying thought patterns that make you feel down (“I feel lonely”); reflect on them (“this extra alone time does not mean I am isolated”) and replace them by more positive formulated thoughts (“I will use this time to work on myself so I will come out better than I was before”). #3. Repeat a mantra. A mantra is a motivating word or phrase that you repeat to yourself on a daily basis. It can help you to call yourself back when you notice your thoughts sliding off towards the negative end of the spectrum. The best mantras are very personal, so think about what it is that you need. Based on your needs you can then create your own phrase. #4. Carve out more time for self-care. You can’t help out other people – and therefore you can’t help you – if you neglect yourself. Therefore, use this time of social distancing to take better care of yourself and replenish your energy levels. Do yoga. Finally take the time to start meditating. Cook for yourself a little more often. Spoil yourself with a nice body scrub and a nourishing body cream. Rest. #5. Go to your safe space. When you get the feeling you’re losing control, think about a time and place where you felt comfortable and relaxed. Take your thoughts back to that beautiful summer vacation, that road trip, or maybe a specific visit to a good friend. Hang out there for a couple of minutes; it will restore your sense of security. #6. Create a Do-Not list. You really don’t need more to stress about today. So pick out one or two items that you don’t really have to do today. Take them off your To-Do list and put them (only for today) on your Do-Not list. There you go, you’ve just carved out an entire hour to commit to something you actually want to do. Tomorrow is another day! #7. Replace normal with now. The media are constantly referring to “the new normal”, telling us we should learn to accept it. But telling yourself to accept this as the new status quo will only lead to more stress and fear, and that is a dangerous cocktail. So instead of looking at this period as “the new normal”, consider it “the new now”. That way, you can convince yourself of the fact that the current circumstances are not permanent. This, too, shall pass.

An isolated body scan of your right hand in six steps Step 1 Sit down while making sure neither your arms nor legs are crossed; a comfortable armchair is a good choice for this exercise. Close your eyes. Breathe in through your nose and then slowly out through your mouth, as if you’re blowing out a candle in slow motion. Now you consciously start to relax your body, while calmly breathing in and out. Step 2 Put your hands on your thighs, palms down. Bring your attention to your right hand. Feel the flow of air that passes your hand, its temperature, the texture of the surface beneath your palm. Become fully aware of everything that you feel around your hand. Step 3 While keeping your eyes closed, bring your attention to your pinky. Try to consciously relax the muscles in that finger. How straight is your little finger? How do the joints feel? Your fingernail? Is there something specific that you notice? Step 4 Now, bring your attention to your fourth finger. Again, try consciously relaxing it by scanning the bones, ligaments and muscles in your mind. Then continue and do the same with your middle finger, index finger and thumb. Step 5 Once you’ve scanned all the fingers on your right hand, bring your focus to the top of the hand, to the sides, then to your palm and finally your wrist. Step 6 Compare your right hand to your left. Can you feel any difference? Do the weight, sensations and temperature vary? Final thoughts An isolated body scan of your right hand is an excellent way to calm your body and mind in just a couple of minutes. And from within that calm, there are no boundaries to what you can achieve. And in case you want to continue scanning, you can apply the exercise above to the rest of your body, starting at the bottom and working your way up.